Seeing The Enemy

SEEING THE ENEMY 

Everyday I feel like I'm just alone, to where I feel like I'm just some kid who just doesn't matter in the world and yet I was born...Why??.....i don't know and I really don't care, all I know is that I'm half good on the outside but there is dark on in the inside but that doesn't mean that I don't care about anybody it just means that I have the nerve to destroy anything that temps to threaten my lifeline unless if I'm meant to die then so be it but from all the hatred these demons give me is really.....starting to change me.

I can't stand looking into the mirror because all I see is my dad's image looking back at me with so much hatred and that's when I realized it was my enemy taunting me to punch the mirror, I looked down for a split second and looked back up I saw him looking at me with his bloody hands and cloths I couldn't hold myself back from punching the mirror so instead i threw my pocket knife at the bloody reflection of a demon and shattered the mirror, i thought to myself for a minute then asked myself.....Was that me?? 

to be continued..... 

PAIN

Pain is a horrible feeling even if you physically feel pain as in a car accident, broken bone, bullet through the leg and arm, or getting cut deep.


The pain i am going to talk about is the pain you and yourself is feeling, if you are hurt because someone you truly loved betrayed you or lied to you or ended up getting caught doing something with that other person......its going to burn your world and turn your sunny days into dark ashes but don't let it get to you if you knew something was up with him/her, I've had a lot of heartaches and had feelings that i have been abandoned by my own family, friends, even my biological father who wasn't the man to take care of me or my mom but I've been thinking to that I'm not the only one that lost a father, there are thousands of children who might of lost their parents at birth and in their middle age.


I have a pain that most of you feel too because if I'm the only one that feels that way then we have a real problem, think of it this way most of us have this heart with love and sunny days but its mainly us that tends to destroy it with our negative thoughts, we are our own threat, its not mainly other people who attacks it with hate and words its us who wants to end our worlds with pain or easy deaths.

Death  is not the answer to all your problems its only going to make things worse for your family and your friends, take it this way if you have at least 4 friends that you know that are willing to drop everything to help you don't take their help, love, care, or even concerns for granted, accept the fact that they would be devastated if you were to do anything to yourself and if they got the news you are fully gone and out of this earth i know for sure they will not be happy, they would be upset.


Heres another thing I've been thinking about, if you are a boy or girl reading this i want you to read this carefully and understand what I'm telling you ok.... if there is somebody no matter boy or girl that is super popular, gets all the attention they want and you are upset and jealous because people think your a nerd or a freak don't ever let their words destroy your future or your dreams, ok you may think this is weird for me to say but look think of your heart having a stone wall and the jocks, pretty girls, and guys who have more muscle think they have the power to knock it down by hey NEWS FLASH they don't have the power only you do and its up to you to keep your feelings safe from the other teens that think they are so perfect enough to leave you in the gutter like you're nobody.


ok heres something for the kids who feel exactly like i do, over the last 4 devastating years I've lived in Denver CO there have been many people who have rejected me, called me names and physically threatened me, most of them pretended they were my friends but i can see that they were lying to me the whole time because every time i tend to trust the people that always looked like that they were real, well......they weren't real they were just voices in my head and eventually went away.

To be continued......